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"If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested."
 
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Price: $10.00
Prod. Code: IFYTMJ

Maybe "don't touch my junk" is a little tame for you.  You want the full monty!  Go all out with our shirt that lets everybody know that...

If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested.

 

Printed as two lines of text as the photo shows.  Yes, your friends will want one too!  Heavyweight short sleeve t-shirt in either black or white.